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Christus
Rex
Shepherding Family and
Church
Marcus Rench
The
Apostle Paul started many churches in his lifetime, and we have in one
of his letters a description of the man who would be an elder. In his
letter to Timothy, Paul gave a sketch of the man qualified for this important
calling in the church. Timothy received the letter while he was in the
midst of doing the work of an evangelist, erecting churches, and establishing
elders in Ephesus. One of the areas Paul addressed in his portrait of
the elder was that of the family. Paul writes of the man who aspires to
be a bishop that he is ". . . one who rules his own house well, having
his children in submission with all reverence . . ." (Titus 1:6 says,
"having faithful children"). Paul's follow-up question is intriguing,
though: ". . . for if a man does not know how to rule his own house,
how will he take care of the church of God?" (1 Tim. 3:4-5; verse
5 is in parentheses in the NKJV, as if tagged on).
While debate rages in the Reformed world over the issue of belief in the
elder's children, we may be missing a very important point in Paul's afterthought.
Similar to the Aqua Velva man, there's just something about a man who
knows how to rule his own house - and does it well. Paul's reasoning is
this: if a man can rule his wife and children well, he has already shown
a degree of accomplishment that is crucial in managing the family of God.
This kind of Biblical attainment seems to be a lost art in many Reformed
churches. Often the Pastor can delineate ninety-nine reasons for embracing
an optimistic eschatology, yet he is not equally optimistic in changing
his own wife. You see, family accomplishment doesn't come only from thinking
all the right Reformed stuff (homeschooling, catechizing, etc.). Rather,
it comes from knowing and doing, a 'know-how' that is applied to the family
in such a manner that it actually leads to the sanctification of the wife
and kids. A man with this family-know-how is ready to shepherd the family
of God.
I ask you, how many parishioners are actually embarrassed to invite their
friends to church, knowing that the Pastor or the Pastor's kids will be
offensive or shocking, respectively, to the guests? Or worse yet, the
Pastor's wife causes the guests to make a quick exit.
Regrettably, the aforementioned ability is so often lacking in our Bible-thumping
churches that I would say it is something of a phenomenon. The Apostle
Paul knew that when a man has become accomplished in his family, then
that man knows the right stuff - the right way. Simply put, he knows what
the Word says, and he also knows how to persuade and shepherd others in
progressive godliness. This simple trait is critical in the elder's life,
and there is a very good reason - the Elder is to shepherd, oversee, and
rule in an efficacious way.
Biblical shepherding requires this organic wisdom; wisdom which has been
honed out by an informed and accomplished practice in the microcosm of
the church - the family. A godly family culture is the proving ground
for a godly church culture that will affect surrounding culture. And this
wisdom is not infused through reading reams of affirmed writings, but
rather it is cultivated in the heart and around the hearth. The man who
meets this requirement is properly prepared, and to turn Paul's phrase,
a man who knows how to rule his own house, will take care of the church
of God.
I fear that there are too many churches of the "Really Reformed"
that are, in reality, a one-generation (or less), flash in the pan. Lacking
the organic wisdom Paul requires in their elders, these churches have
an emasculated existence, fade to a whiter shade of pale, and then like
Bilbo, disappear. When current members move, die, or leave; the only thing
left will be a pile of hard to read books. Paul steers Timothy away from
this sterility when he writes in his second letter to Timothy, "the
things that you have heard . . . commit these to faithful men who will
be able to teach others also" (2:2). Paul cultivated robust and viral
producers.
What is one to do? Well, that depends on your situation. First, make sure
that you are a man in the reproducing category and that you are developing
a believing household. Again, you need to know the right stuff, the right
way. Make use of the work of solidly Reformed men who combine theology
and a degree of accomplishment in family and church.
Second, make sure that you are in a Bible-believing and Reformed church
which has, in seed form at least, this organic wisdom in her elders. They
don't have to be perfect, just meet the Biblical qualifications of doctrine,
character, and family. Hopefully they are able, through God's grace, to
lead others into this garden of godliness they have cultivated.
Third, if you find yourself in an inadequate situation, then you need
to remedy it, and this can be most complicated. It will take wisdom and
caution. It may require you to speak to your Elders, in an appropriate
manner, about their apparent lack. It may require you to look elsewhere
for a church that is Reformed and producing godly men. It may even be
necessary to move to a healthy covenant community. Your well-being may
depend on it. Your family needs it, and they depend on you.
.
Volume
One - Issue One
Christ
the King - Gregory Soderberg
The Testimony of the Human Will - Robert Nash
Shepherding Family and Church - Marcus
Rench
Presuppositional Primer - Maurice Hagar
Verbi - Various Reformers
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