Christus Rex

Shepherding Family and Church
Marcus Rench

The Apostle Paul started many churches in his lifetime, and we have in one of his letters a description of the man who would be an elder. In his letter to Timothy, Paul gave a sketch of the man qualified for this important calling in the church. Timothy received the letter while he was in the midst of doing the work of an evangelist, erecting churches, and establishing elders in Ephesus. One of the areas Paul addressed in his portrait of the elder was that of the family. Paul writes of the man who aspires to be a bishop that he is ". . . one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence . . ." (Titus 1:6 says, "having faithful children"). Paul's follow-up question is intriguing, though: ". . . for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?" (1 Tim. 3:4-5; verse 5 is in parentheses in the NKJV, as if tagged on).
While debate rages in the Reformed world over the issue of belief in the elder's children, we may be missing a very important point in Paul's afterthought. Similar to the Aqua Velva man, there's just something about a man who knows how to rule his own house - and does it well. Paul's reasoning is this: if a man can rule his wife and children well, he has already shown a degree of accomplishment that is crucial in managing the family of God.
This kind of Biblical attainment seems to be a lost art in many Reformed churches. Often the Pastor can delineate ninety-nine reasons for embracing an optimistic eschatology, yet he is not equally optimistic in changing his own wife. You see, family accomplishment doesn't come only from thinking all the right Reformed stuff (homeschooling, catechizing, etc.). Rather, it comes from knowing and doing, a 'know-how' that is applied to the family in such a manner that it actually leads to the sanctification of the wife and kids. A man with this family-know-how is ready to shepherd the family of God.
I ask you, how many parishioners are actually embarrassed to invite their friends to church, knowing that the Pastor or the Pastor's kids will be offensive or shocking, respectively, to the guests? Or worse yet, the Pastor's wife causes the guests to make a quick exit.
Regrettably, the aforementioned ability is so often lacking in our Bible-thumping churches that I would say it is something of a phenomenon. The Apostle Paul knew that when a man has become accomplished in his family, then that man knows the right stuff - the right way. Simply put, he knows what the Word says, and he also knows how to persuade and shepherd others in progressive godliness. This simple trait is critical in the elder's life, and there is a very good reason - the Elder is to shepherd, oversee, and rule in an efficacious way.
Biblical shepherding requires this organic wisdom; wisdom which has been honed out by an informed and accomplished practice in the microcosm of the church - the family. A godly family culture is the proving ground for a godly church culture that will affect surrounding culture. And this wisdom is not infused through reading reams of affirmed writings, but rather it is cultivated in the heart and around the hearth. The man who meets this requirement is properly prepared, and to turn Paul's phrase, a man who knows how to rule his own house, will take care of the church of God.
I fear that there are too many churches of the "Really Reformed" that are, in reality, a one-generation (or less), flash in the pan. Lacking the organic wisdom Paul requires in their elders, these churches have an emasculated existence, fade to a whiter shade of pale, and then like Bilbo, disappear. When current members move, die, or leave; the only thing left will be a pile of hard to read books. Paul steers Timothy away from this sterility when he writes in his second letter to Timothy, "the things that you have heard . . . commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also" (2:2). Paul cultivated robust and viral producers.
What is one to do? Well, that depends on your situation. First, make sure that you are a man in the reproducing category and that you are developing a believing household. Again, you need to know the right stuff, the right way. Make use of the work of solidly Reformed men who combine theology and a degree of accomplishment in family and church.
Second, make sure that you are in a Bible-believing and Reformed church which has, in seed form at least, this organic wisdom in her elders. They don't have to be perfect, just meet the Biblical qualifications of doctrine, character, and family. Hopefully they are able, through God's grace, to lead others into this garden of godliness they have cultivated.
Third, if you find yourself in an inadequate situation, then you need to remedy it, and this can be most complicated. It will take wisdom and caution. It may require you to speak to your Elders, in an appropriate manner, about their apparent lack. It may require you to look elsewhere for a church that is Reformed and producing godly men. It may even be necessary to move to a healthy covenant community. Your well-being may depend on it. Your family needs it, and they depend on you.

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Volume One - Issue One

Christ the King - Gregory Soderberg
The Testimony of the Human Will - Robert Nash
Shepherding Family and Church - Marcus Rench
Presuppositional Primer - Maurice Hagar
Verbi - Various Reformers

 

 

   
"There is not an inch in the entire domain of our human life of which Christ, who is sovereign of all, does not proclaim 'Mine!'…One desire has been the ruling passion of my life. One high motive has acted like a spur upon my mind and soul…It is this: That in spite of all worldly opposition, God's holy ordinances shall be established again in the home, in the school and in the State for the good of the people."
- Abraham Kuyper -

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